I was poking around on a website that helps link misophonia sufferers to doctors who study the condition, and I found a document on the site that gives a thorough explanation of misophonia and its associated conditions, including phonophobia (fear of sounds).
The explanations were so good, I thought I would share them here. For more information, visit the 4S provider network website.
According to the document, this is how you pronounce the condition: mis-ō-fō′nē-ă (MISS OH PHONY UH)
Theory behind why it happens: “The auditory pathways may be functioning normally, but there is an abnormally strong reaction of the limbic (emotional system) and autonomic nervous system (body control system) to which the auditory system is intimately connected.”
Several definitions are listed for the disorder, including:
1. “Abnormally strong negative reactions of the autonomic and limbic systems to specific sounds resulting from enhanced functional connections between the auditory and limbic systems for these sounds. The auditory system works in a normal manner, without abnormally high activation. At the behavioral level, sounds specific for a given patient evoke strong negative reactions. This situation may cause general negative attitude to sound as well. When fear is dominant emotion (patient is afraid of sound) phonophobia occurs (phobia – fear). Phonophobia is a specific case of misophonia.”
2. “Selective sound sensitivity should be considered a type of misophonia, where soft sounds (typically eating and breathing sounds made by emotional attachment figures) are the focus, and the quality of those sounds causes annoyance and rage in the listener.”
3. “Pre-puberty seems to be a very common age of onset for the majority of those with misophonia, with lifetime persistence for most cases, and there appears to be a genetic component.”
4. “Misophonia can be considered abnormally strong connections between the autonomic and limbic resulting from enhanced connections between the auditory and limbic systems. These connections encompass both a high level of cortical level loop with involvement with cognition as well as subconscious connections, most probably involving the link between the medial geniculate body and the amygdale. The functions of these connections are governed by the principles of conditioned reflexes.”
The definitions are super technical, but I thought I would share them anyway in case someone wanted to understand just what was going on with the wiring in their heads. Looks like misophonia happens when the wires that affect your hearing get crossed with the wires that affect your emotions. It’s pretty fascinating, really. But I’d be much more fascinated if I didn’t have to deal with it every day of my life.
OK, so what about the current treatments?
According to the document, all of the following are being used to help treat (not cure) misophonia:
- Tinnitus retraining therapy has been tried using bilateral sound generators and directive counseling
- Earplugs are often prescribed to help block out intruding sounds
- Cognitive therapy
- Desensitization therapies including adversive exposure therapy, sensory integration auditory programs, and many others
- Counseling therapies
- Rotating cycles of pleasant sound therapy paired with unpleasant sounds
- Psychoanalysis
My appointment with a misophonia specialist is happening soon, so I’ll be sure to discuss these treatment options at that time. Stay tuned…
Wow! I am so happy to find out that this exists, and your site has been helpful navigating this issue. For the longest time I thought I was just a highly sensitive, highly irritable person. As a child I used to cry when I had to sit at the family dinner table because of the chewing. My coworker is crunching on something right now and the anxiety is intense. I want to smack her, but she is my friend! How horrible this feeling is. Thanks for the helpful info! I will be searching for specialists in the NYC area.
Wonderful! I’m happy to help. Writing about misophonia and talking to other people about it has been therapeutic for me. I wish you all the best and if you have time, you’ll have to let me know if you find anyone who specializes in misophonia in your area.
I have just discovered this ‘Misphonia” today. I was so relieved as I have had this since I was 8 years old. I am now 37. It is getting harder and harder each year.I thought that I was just nuts and not tolerable to people. The sound of people breathing, touching their face, birds chirping, the sound some people make when they say ‘s’ and so on. It has gotten to the point that I will not go to certain places or if I go out to eat I will look for a table that is away from others. It is ruling my life. If there is any cure I would love to know about it.
Thanks for sharing your story. It was a relief to me to find out I wasn’t alone. Unfortunately, there is not a cure at the moment. There apparently are coping strategies, and I am just beginning to become familiar with those, so I’m sorry I can’t be of more help. If you check out my “About” page, you can find links to other misophonia support sites. But I’m pretty sure the consensus is that there’s no known cure, yet.
My boyfriend has misophonia, and I find the longer we are together, or the more that he is around anyone, really, the more they annoy him. I am just worried if we stay together for a long time it will continue to get worse. I am trying to be sympathetic, and know it’s a real issue, but I am also upset because I do not feel like he’s trying to get help. However, I also don’t feel like there are legitimate treatments. I’d love to know if anyone has personal experience with something that worked.
Thanks,
Kathryn
Hi Kathryn, it already shows that you are a great partner by trying to learn more about misophonia and how to help. I am in a similar situation with my partner. My partner doesn’t have misophonia and tries to be accommodating, but more and more sounds my partner makes are starting to bother me. It’s difficult to even sleep in the same room, because breathing sounds are starting to trigger my misophonia. I’ve heard some people say they’ve had success with neurofeedback, but I personally haven’t tried it yet because it is too expensive for me. I’ve tried cognitive behavioral therapy, but that didn’t work for me, and I haven’t heard of it working for other people with misophonia. There really isn’t a sure way to get help for this condition, so I wouldn’t fault your boyfriend for not trying to get help. There’s really not much out there, unless he wants to (and can afford to) explore neurofeedback. Good luck!
I suffer dreadful from this. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
This has been a lifelong affliction for me and only recently did I learn it had a name. Repititious sounds can trigger violent headaches and anxiety in me. Loud noises are actually painful to me. My family thought I was crazy when a loudly ticking clock or a persistant car engine sound would put me in a tizzy of pain or discomfort. It is a relief to at last know the condition actually has a name and that others have the same problems. Thanks for the information and for setting my mind at ease at long last.
Hi, that sounds like Hyperacusis. Have you looked it up? It is where loud noises are painful, rather than an emotion response to a trigger like people eating. Not to say you’re wrong, but just in case you hadn’t heard of Hyperacusis before.
Just watch a 20/20 ahow on this .wow this is me i had no clue this had a name.i have passed this on to my daughter who is now 22 its a very stressful problum. This such a relief in a way to no there is a name for this. I truley can not do any paperwork in the room with my husband i never did well in school to much noise around me i would just get mad and as a adult i am able to control it but it.just boils all day and i am mad all day wow im speachless
I’m so happy that you now know about misophonia! Feel free to explore my blog and post if you have any questions. I am not a medical expert — just a person with misophonia who is trying to get a better understanding of my problem and explore treatment options. Best of luck to you!
I too saw this on 20/20. I can’t remember any time in my life when I felt normal. I have ADHD which is not bad for me. I have learned to work with it not against it. I just thought my noise issues were part of ADHD . I control the noise issues by isolation, I think it’s the only way, or is it???
That’s a good question. If you want to try to escape the isolation, you might want to consider what I’m trying, which is cognitive behavioral therapy. I’m in the early stages, but I heard it helps you deal with the feelings you have when experiencing misophonia triggers.
Just watched 20/20. my grand daughter who I bring up has this. She now sleeps days and up nights to avoid sounds. I never realized why till this program. Now to tell her Psychiatrist to look this up as hes been stumped to what is wrong with her. Recently saying shes just a bad teenager but shes been like this since 10 yrs old, now 13. Shes given me hell. I cant eat around her or cough or breath or yawn. We are segregated and rarely see each other now. Im incarcerated as well as cant go out during the day being illegal under 14 years old. Its a nightmare.
Thanks for sharing your story with me. As someone who grew up with misophonia, I hope that you are able to provide your granddaughter with understanding and patience when it comes to her misophonia. Please understand that she has nothing against you personally. It is difficult to live with a person with misophonia, but it is also extremely difficult to have the condition. I applaud you for learning more about misophonia and I hope that you can continue to approach the situation with empathy. Good luck to you.
I am SO glad this was posted on the 4S/Misophonia Facebook page. This is great stuff you’ve got here!!! There a several of us who post all over but gather through the http://www.misophonia.info site to do research and get publicity and develop archives along the way. My own personal research is toward why this is happening in our brains. We have research beginning in the USA at UCSD and there’s a study going on in London. There are “template” letters available for helping to explain this disorder to family, schools and the medical community. Shall we join forces?
Hi Adah! I would love to help out in any way that I can. Feel free to email me at mymisophonia (at) gmail (dot) com and we can discuss how we might be able to join forces. Thanks!
Adah, do you need any test subjects?
I watched 20/20 also. My reactions aren’t as severe as those shown on the show. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel like smacking most people who annoy the *@#$^( out of me. I’d be happy just to lock myself in a room and never come out!
Yes Elise thats exactly what my 13 yr old has done. She sleeps day and up nights avoiding everyone and everything that makes a noise. She can sleep 16 hours most times and no one can wake her up.
Well I got this about when I was 8 I started to realize that I had something wrong with me, my mom said it was OCD or, and I was being a brat, until I watched 20/20.
My husband is actually the one who heard about this and told me. I have been dealing with this issue since I was 11…I am now 38. It has gotten worse as I have gotten older. My problem with people eating and the noises they make has caused many fights . My marriage has suffered, my kids have suffered and my relationships with other people have suffered. I don’t want to get mad because somebody is sniffing or clipping
their nails; but, when that is happening I lose my mind. I don’t want to be like this and I hope somebody finds a way to help soon.
“I live in painful silence…..I am a prisoner to the sounds around me”
Lorraine L L
-Vermont
Lorraine,
I have a 19 year old son who was born premature at 26 1/2 weeks , he had a horrid first 4 months . Point is at 19 years old he has had life long communication problems , also he has perfect pitch and his auditory discrimination ability is in the top 10 % .
We made a move last year after spending the past 8 years on a beautiful back road to Rt 14 which has never ending traffic. Needless to say his hearing horrors went thru the roof . Before this he was never really able to convey in detail his auditory difficulties , now his progressive decline is evident thru his isolating behaviors or his violent reactions to the never ending sounds, so much more to explain.
For 18 years , Jacob is/was a kind , good person who loves life , is a Musician but his life has stopped and he is in a purgatory limbo . Do you know of support groups or professionals in Vt that can help or can we help each other in any way?
Thanks in advance and I sincerely wish you peace and comfort. I can see first hand the horror this can do .
Carol , Jacobs Mom
I too have isolated myself for too many years to count. I’m 62 now and I began to praise God for all things, good and bad and there have been some really huge bad things, too! One thing I can praise God for that came from the misery of Misophonia’s isolation, is that He was the only one I could stand to be with cuz He doesn’t make any horrible noises! lol, but I’m quite serious! Now, I’m better able to focus on my Oneness with my Heavenly Father which decreases my sensitivity to sound! It’s truly a Miracle! I highly recommend it!!! Love in Jesus, Elaine Moore
I discovered I have this condition about a year ago when it was talked about on the Today Show as well as featured in a New York Times article. I’ve had Misophonia almost all my life; it started at the age of 5. I would scream and cry at the dinner table, and as i went into school my triggers grew. Chewing, especially gum, sniffling, spit noises, ect. Even visual triggers, such as someone chewing gum without making any noise. Just the sight of their mouth moving in a certain way would drive me up the wall. I’m now in highschool and i’ve noticed my anger and anxiety becoming harder to control every year. Misophonia ruins my life. I hardly hang out with friends or even leave my room to be with family because i’d rather be alone and in silence. School is absolute torture, i’ve tried explaining to teachers and a few students, their responses have caused me to tell no one else. They either think i just want attention and play it down, or they claim they have it too. Or sometimes they go out of their way to act different around me, which i do appreciate that they are trying to help but that only makes me feel worse. Misophonia is so misunderstood, and while i appreciate the attention it has gotten i also cannot stand it. I hate how many people write online, “i think i have Misophonia” or “do i have Misophonia?” For someone who has it, there is no question. You know for sure you have it. It’s not the same as being incredibly annoyed by a pencil tapping or someone chewing loudly. It is feeling enraged, feeling scared of yourself because you think you could really hurt or even kill someone you get so angry. It is feeling suicidal because the anxiety is so high. It is absolutely life ruining, and people posting ignorant remarks like those online bothers me a lot. I understand they mean no harm, but Misophonia is not something “cool” to have. It’s not something i would ever wish on another person, and the fact that people who don’t even have it try to use it for attention is sickening. I just keep this condition to myself and try to make it through each day, wishing for a cure.
Megan, I too suffer from this annoying condition and have most of my life. At times during my younger years, my parents thought I was crazy because a loudly ticking clock bothered me and kept me from sleeping. Thankfully, I am not afflicted as badly as many are and wish you well in learning to handle your condition. I am now a senior citizen and find myself spending more time alone just to avoid the sounds that bother me so badly. I wish you well in your journey through life. JoAnn
Thank you, JoAnn. I really do appreciate your kindness. I am saddened to hear you dealt with this for so many years, and I am saddened to know that as a senoir citizen it is still negatively affecting you. I also wish you well, thank you again.
Your experience has really opened my eyes, I do not have Misophonia, but my wife and son both have it. My wife cannot stand the sound my son’s our my eating, breathing or chewing gum and she can’t stand to watch us chew gum even if she can’t hear us. We basically all eat in separate areas or at different times. My son is the same way he can not stand our sounds, they both have very angry and mean outbursts. This condition is tearing my marriage and family apart. I never realized the agony that they are going through! In my mind I always wonder why doesn’t their own eating bother them? It’s not like they are any quieter? It makes me angry that I can’t even enjoy a meal with my family. It drives me nuts that they get angry and freak out at my breathing, I mean, I have to breath. That being said I now realize that they have no control over it. I am going to try even harder to approach their problem with love and not take it personally. I guess the thing that surprises me the most is that the closer the person is, the angrier the Misophonia gets with the sounds. Thanks for your post.
Thank you so much for your comment. I became very emotional while reading what you wrote because I have a partner who also sometimes takes it personally when I am triggered by his noises. I can’t imagine what it must be like to live with someone who has misophonia; it must be difficult to have the person you care about get so angry at you for what seems like no good reason. When I am triggered by my partner, no matter how angry I get, I try to make sure to tell him that it’s not his fault. My hope is that by saying that, he might be less hurt by my anger. But it’s never been easy. I wish you the best of luck. Know that your family does not hate you. They just hate some of the sounds you make. It’s not your fault. It’s not their fault. It’s just the situation.
Thank you for your reply; it gives me even more perspective on this condition. I was wondering if you have a love and a gifting for music? Both my wife and son do and this seems to be a real escape from their Misophonia. They often ask me how I ignore irritating sounds or people eating, I just tell them that I ignore it and they laugh and say “Like that’s an option?”. But it is starting to make sense that the sound is interlinked with feelings, I think that’s why music is such an escape because they get extra pleasure out of what they consider good sounds. Do you find this to be the case for you?
I have been married for over 22 years so I have had a lot of experience living with a Misophonia. My son, who is 15 has only been showing signs of Misophonia for the past two years, he can have violent outburst when it gets too be much. Some of the ways they cope are ear plugs, iPod at loud volumes. I think the saddest thing that I have noticed is over the years that way my wife has withdrawn from the world. She has no real friends and it has really affected our relationship. She would rather stay at home and has not held a job outside the home for over 15 years. Restaurants, Movie theatres, crowded malls, parties are all things she avoids like the plague. We really do not live as a couple, I am out going and enjoy all of the above, I use to just stay home but have decided that I just need to go do it all on my own. This being said, I see her loneliness and longing to live a normal life, it kills me that I cannot help her. It also saddens me to see my son heading down the same road. I really pray that a cure or treatment becomes available, it appears that living with Misophonia robs the suffer of a full and joy filled life.
LK, I urge you to try Neurofeedback at least for your child: there are more and more people using NFB and seeing great results: especially young people who have more elastic brains. There is a google group https://groups.google.com/forum/?fromgroups#!forum/misophonia-support that has many who are talking about NFB as a treatment and many of the NFB practitioners are sharing ideas with other.
@LK, as a matter of fact, I do really love music. I do not play any music, but I find that listening to it is very therapeutic for me. I especially love listening to music while driving to and from work. Being alone in the car provides a nice break from sounds that trigger my misophonia.
@Adah, very interesting. I had heard of NFB, but last I heard, there was a lot of skepticism surrounding it. Looks like more and more people are experiencing relief through it? Has it worked for you?
I AM trying NFB again, as a matter of fact. My brain is a bit different from most: my father was highly misophonic and did not control his rages or his arousal and I was raised with a sadistic pedophilic rapist. I have had many years of psych treatment and have handled that issue well but years of chronic violent rape starting in early childhood does tend to change the brain wiring. The first round of NFB I had really settled the PTSD issues. Now I am being a guinea pig and we are targeting the misophonia. If anyone else has a “PTSD brain” and can try NFB it would be awesome to compare notes!!!
Thanks for sharing your story, Adah. If it can work for you PTSD, it must be very powerful. I’m definitely going to look into it more. Best of luck to you!
My daughter suffers w/misophonia, she is 20 years old. It has been a long and hard journey since the symptoms manifested in her at age 10. It is painful to watch her struggle at times because I know…..I KNOW that it is real. The reactions to the triggers are visceral. Speaking to the family members of the one who suffers w/this my heart goes out to you also because I know how hard it is sometimes to endure the “walking-on-eggshells” atmosphere of living with them.
Ten years of trying to understand this neurological problem has taught me, her mother, to have compassion & understanding for people who struggle with emotional problems that disrupt and can incapacitate their lives. Unfortunately, I believe some doctors & counselors misdiagnosed my daughter w/bipolar disorder & OCD based mostly on the rage part of the reaction to noises & the depression of the dibilatating effects of realizing your life with this disorder. She was on Abilify for 7 years (a psychotropic drug for bipolar disorder). No drug ever thrown at her helped with the effects she had such of the Fight or Flight situations from the triggers. She went to Atlanta, Emory University, saw Dr. Jasteroffe (spell?). He helped to teach her about white noise to help drown out some trigger noises. In 2010 she tried some cognitive behavior therapy sessions in St Petersburg, Fl at a Children’s Hospital (Rothman Ctr). While I believe this is probably the only real way to alleviate some trigger noises, the treatment is torturous in its way & she was not ready to endure the pain. I was glad we were able to expose & enlighten her to this therapy for her future. She knows it’s there & what it will require of her to complete successfully. She just recently married and gave birth to a son (he is 3 weeks old today). She is revisiting the idea of cognitive behavior therapy with a therapist now. I feel confident that she will be successful because she realizes the intestinal fortitude it will require to endure & apparently is ready. My heart goes out to those currently struggling with this disorder & to their family, loved ones & support care. Hang in there. Two things also I would like for those to remember.
1. If you are struggling with this disorder it helps not only you but your loved ones whom you live with to know what your triggers are & to DEVELOP a game plan for everyone on how to react.
2. For your loved ones you live with, my best advice is to NOT continue to create a living atmosphere of “walking-on-eggshells”. This is not healthy for the other members of household. Create an environment in which your loved one who suffers can become self-empowered & motivated to adapt their behavior to triggers in a healthy way by creating white noises or seeking another room to calm down in while processing the effects of the trigger noises.
This disorder is NOT a death sentence, it CAN be managed. I know this for a fact as I see my daughter manage it on a daily basis. God is good.
Victoria Archer
Victoria – THANK YOU for being the parent most of us wish we had!! I urge you to reconsider trying to “cure” a neurological disorder with a psych treatment. I do NOT have answers, but I DO know what does NOT work.
Yes – psych treatment is incredibly helpful to recognize that the feeling we have as misophonics are not real emotions, they are the result of improper firing of neurons. A game plan is a must – you are perfectly on target. We all have to be open and honest more than most. But CBT is not the answer. White noise generators can help us cope: I have in-ear Ipod buds and I prefer brown or pink noise to white noise. As miso’s, we are susceptible to developing triggers from anything we are exposed to so I suggest switching up the masking sounds. THANK YOU again.
Didn’t even know this existed until a few days ago.I suffer severely do not know if i will make it thru another day .if the dog barks one more time or the people at church pop their gum one more time i think i will do something drastic,or if the spoon clinks against the bowl one more time i think maybe i will go out back and just go away forever.i don’t know how or when but i know i have to get some relief.please God help me to deal one more minute one more second please please HELP
Hi Barbara, it upsets me to hear that you feel the way you do. If you are feeling suicidal, please know that there are people you can talk to. Please see the National Suicide Prevention website. They have a number you can call: http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
There is no cure for misophonia, yet. I hold out hope that there will be a cure some day and in the meantime that we can learn how to better cope with this condition. You’re in my thoughts.
you say you go to church right? well in church you know your restricted from acting out, God will love you anyway if you dont go. My uncle is a Minister and I also suffer from misophonia myself. My uncle told me when I was little that God and Jesus love you no matter what and he knew of my condition. What you and everyone needs to do is find that place that gives you peace from the world while triggering if you cant, im no doctor but i feel just the way you do some times when im bugging out so i got perscribed xanax, very good for anxiety and thats alot of what you feel when this happens your beautiful and good hearted live and love
Hi , i cant beleive there is a name for this! I thought i was so irrational & impatient, ive always been so confused as to why i just cant handle everyday noises that didnt seem to bother anyone else….. if i comment here will it be seen on my facebook page??
Hi Melinda, great to hear from you! I don’t think it will show up on your facebook at all. It doesn’t ask you to sign in using facebook to comment, right? I think you’re ok. I didn’t set up the blog to link to people’s facebook pages. This blog doesn’t even have a facebook page, although there are a few facebook pages for misophonia. Some of those are private and some of those post on your facebook feed.
Hi, Thanks for replying! I’m not very computer savy & ive never commented on a blog before so wasnt sure what it was linked to! Im still amazed that what i have ‘suffered’ with since i was about 10 years old has a name! when i was a child we were forced to sit at the dinner table each night ubtil everyone was finished, the sounds my dad made when he ate, omg, i would have to try so hard not to burst into tears i felt like screaming and running as far away as i could!! i felt like i would explode!! Every night of my life!! ahh!! The sounds of my mums jaw ‘clicking’ when she ate ahhhh!!!! My main triggers now are crunchy food & breathing!! My poor husband (the sweetest man you’ll ever meet whom i love with all my heart annoys me the most!! Why?? i have 3 children they can eat chips near me but my husband, 1 crunch and i feel like i will be sick! If i hear him breathing its like nails down a chalkboard, especially if im trying to sleep! I have used earplugs since i was 15 to sleep (im 40 years old now) as soon as i got a parttimejob, i had the means to buy them & i absolutly cannot sleep without them. i always had to share a room with my sister who i also love dearly but the sound of breathing at night just sends me crazy!! when i was sharing with my sis some nights it upset me so much id end up trying to sleep in the cold hard bath! (as my dad would have killed me if i was caught out of bed so the couch wasnt an option!) I also could never stand the sound of my mum knitting the knitting needles clicking together makes me fel so angry and nauseas. I have to leave the room if my husband is eating a bowl of cereal not just the crunching but the spoon hitting the bowl again & again sends me insane!! & he knows NEVER to open a bag of chips near me…i feeel awful but i get so angry!! It worries me sometimes & makes me so sad because the older im getting the more annoyed i get with my sweet husband who is so kind to me, yet i cant stand to hear him breathe, eat sometimes even TALK!! why is this happening! Sometimes when people breathe their nose makes a clicking sound and if anyone repetitively sniffs near me. AHHHH, i feel like a volcano about to erupt! Mostly its the people closest to me that irritate me the most, 1st being my poor husband,& my mum who is so sweet …yet my children do not trigger me off? I am estranged from my dad now but he has so many annoying sounds that i sometimes wonder if being forced to be in his terrible company when i was a child/teen made this worse for me….he ate like a pig…& we had to listen to it….he had somethig wrong with his nose and sniffed constantly God, i thought i would die! i hope now i know that this is a real condition & im not the only 1 who feels like this, helps me to move forward & find some better ways to cope? It explains the confusion ive always felt as to why noises that dont seem to effect other people drive me up the wall! maybe one day i can sit and watch a moie with my husband & he can breathe & have a snack without me exploding & feeling like i want to run run run!!
This might be a weird question but is it possible for this to cross to visual?? i think My husband has ugly feet and i cant bear to look at them!! it sounds crazy but if he dosnt wear socks i get the same sick feeling as the crunching of chips and i feel angry at him!! i know its irrational and my poor man……but i cant help it even tho im trying to be a better person (i can remember feeling the same about my sisters feet when we were kids if she didnt have socks on & she was sitting next to me on the couch for e.g i would have to cover her feet with a blanket, i couldnt bear to look at them…. so bizzare!
Yes, there are visual triggers. I am triggered by seeing a person with a crossed leg tapping their foot in the air. I think it is the repetitive motion of the foot tapping that bothers me, and I try to block my view of it if possible. Just recently, people running their fingers through their hair in a repetitive way, or seeing a person scratch themselves in the same place over and over have both started to bother me.
Melinda,
I am speechless. Your story is what I’ve been dealing with for as long as I can remember. Wow, I am not the only one. My husband thinks I’m just being mean when I freak out if he sniffs, breathes loudly, eats, chews gum, snores, etc. We haven’t slept together in the same bed because I can’t stand his breathing, or snoring. We have been in counselling for 5 months and only now, can I find a reason as to why I am so annoyed at him.
Hi Melinda,
Holy cow, I am in just about the same situation as you as far as your husband goes. I’m married to the sweetest, most wonderful man in the world who treats me like a queen, yet I can’t STAND to hear him breathe, chew, or sip soda out of a can. It drives me up the wall and I’m now in my 50s and things like this have bothered me since I was a child. My father’s breathing also irritated the living daylights out of me. When we’d go to church I’d make sure my mother would sit inbetween my father and me…AHHH. You just want to scream, eh? I love being by myself now. Weird. We live in a noisy neighborhood and I always have earplugs in or am listening to a Shuffle or Ipod. I can NOT imagine after all these years to try to sleep without earplugs OR the white noise. Thank you for sharing!!
I’ve had the exact same issues with my husband, kids, my brother and mom. My brother would brush his teeth or take a shower and the water running in the walls would drive me crazy! My mom use to have the worst of my disorder.. talking on phone, singing, EATING! The way she does her S’s.. now that I’m older and Live in my own home with my kids (4 of them!) my husband gets it worst.. all my agrivations have redirected towards him.. I’m afraid I’ll be this bad when my kids are older. Things they do are starting to trigger my anxiety with the disorder.. I feel if the situation around me is stressful the more crazy I feel.. but also it can be only just me and another person and I feel just as crazy. I’m usually wearing headphones now..
I just don’t want my kids to hate me when I’m older : / I can’t help my feelings and outburst.. it sucks!
I’m 17. All my life eating & slurping.. Only happens when listening to people in family, not friends.. I wish there was a cure.. I eat separately in my room on Christmas day.. Like Melinda Page, its exactly what happens. It’s horrible, I haven’t money to see a therapist or anyone. I was on a public service and they said its a phase & wouldn’t believe. I asked them to help me find a cognitive behavior person. Only my boyfriend (17) understands. That’s pretty sad. Family always gives out, saying I’m a little bitch, “ruining their dinner” I’ve tried to explain it all, no-one listens except a fellow 17 year old. I know now it has a name, and I’m saddened there are people who suffer too. Hopefully there will be a cure, and someday I’ll have money to see someone.
For me its ok around my friends.but with my family I have to leave the room. It’s so sad……………………………
Omg I thought I was the only one that was like this! People think I’m so crazy cause I can’t stand to hear or see someone eat or bite there nails or breath in there sleep. It makes me super violent and i have thought in the past it could be bipolar disorder but now I see what it is I’m so relived.
Me too, I thought it was bipolar, what a relef.
I hear ya! what a relief to discover that you are NOT crazy! yay! much luck!
I wish there’s a cure for this disorder.
totally… :’(
I am crying as I read all these comments!! Everything people say is true; gum chewing, chips, silverware clinking, snorting(nasal drainage), cereal, breathing, coughing, tapping, crinkling wrappers or bottles, socks rubbing together, clocks ticking, rattling, all of these put me over the edge. My husband says I’m a nag and complain about everything he does. I love him to death but he doesn’t understand the anxiety that pulses through my body with any of the above noise. I could literally punch someone in the face. I have had to walk away on many occasions for fear of my anger getting out of control and having no “real” reason for besides someone breathing or eating. I remember as little as six dreading watching movies with my grandma because she would smack her gum. I would sit and quietly cry and plug me ears through the whole thing for fear of offending her and having no way to describing my problem in a way that anyone would understand.
I try to find ways to cope and not act like a crazy person. Hopefully someday soon there will be a cure or a way to fix this problem. It is a very alone feeling that not many people understand.
There are more of us than you think! Please google Misophonia to find large support groups with people from all over the world
The scepticism of Neurofeedback comes from pharmaceuticals and in the context of Misophonia from audiologists. There is a lot of amazing NFB research which shows incredible results with ADD, autism, depression, anxiety, epilepsy, the list goes on. I have been using NFB for my Misphonia for 6 months and it’s been life changing. I no longer carry earplugs, which is huge for me. Today the checker at the store was snapping her gum. Normally I would have left all my stuff on the counter and walked out. Today I thought, “Wow, she’s really snapping that gum and I don’t even care.” That is unbelievable given I’m the one who sat on the couch next to Ann Curry and told millions of viewers that when people snap their gum I want to “knock their teeth out.” Please join us at http://groups.google.com/group/misophonia-support?hl=en We talk about our NFB experiences. You cannot treat a neurological disorder with audiological devices and CBT, you can mask noises and make your responses not so severe, the latter of which I am all for, I fully believe in positive thought, but it eliminate Miso, you must tackle it at its root cause, the wiring of our brains. There are so many more Miso sufferers now trying NFB, many, many more than just 6 months ago. The NFB community is beginning to buzz about it and very excited to help us.
Thanks for the link! I am definitely going to check this out.
I can’t even use ear plugs because the sound of my own heartbeat pisses me off. I have had hearing problems as a child due to ear infections and salt water damage from swimming. I have also been diagnosed with ADHD and OCD. Not sure if it’s connected. Background noise makes me irate as well as chewing, sucking, snoring, loud breathing, the tick of a clock, people blowing air through their teeth, those news shows where everyone talks over each other to argue a point, mispronounced words, the list goes on….
I was in tears a few days ago when I learned about misophonia! I have been living with this all for the majority of my life and I always thought it was me that was the problem. Movie theatres, dinner tables, etc have always been a place of torture for me. Even at work, I have to work with ear plugs and headphones in order to drown out my coworkers slamming her keyboard. I always apologized to people close to me for my sensitivity. My family sometimes made me feel awful because I was “too sensitive”.Thank you thank you thank you! I am not the only one.
I am feeling the same way as you– THANK GOD! I am NOT crazy and I am not alone. I cried and cried as well, just knowing that there was a name, misophonia, makes me somehow feel validated after all of these years! Congrats to you and good luck to us all!
Wow. I am currency 14. I’ve been highly annoyed with gum smacking and food smacking for as long as I can remember. My mom was always intolerable and so was my sister. They both still are. They both still always smack their food. My mom watched an episode of 20/20 and found a name for it. You know.. It sucks. I’ve cried a lot today. I finally decided to do more research on it seeing as I’ve become highly annoyed with a NEW sound, nose whistling or even someone breathing. And I’m around all of these triggers 24/7. I am such an inconvenience to everyone around me. And reading that my life will only get worse makes me extremely upset. I keep my headphones in all of the time. Because I get screamed at for asking my family to please stop. I get in trouble. Kids at school think it’s hilarious to smack their gum around me. I hate myself. I really hate that I have this condition. But I guess I have to get used to it. It’s apparently not going away anytime soon. I just needed to get this out there to others who actually understand me.
Hi Rachel, I’m also 14. I love when I can find someone my age that has Misophonia also, I find you guys easier to talk to. Misophonia is completely ruining my life. I’m at the verge of being home schooled, I’ve broke down crying in class because of how annoyed I got of others. I really just don’t even know what to do anymore.
Oh my word! all these years I just thought I was an annoyingly irritable unfair person.
My triggers for huge inner rage seem to be heavy breathing while eating, and the sound of ladies’ heels walking on a wooden floor. It makes me want to completely hulkout and murder, but instead I sit quietly, with my head in my hands. I really hate the sound of my own footsteps in heels, and I hate the sound of my own breathing if I have earplugs in so that’s all I hear. Absolute rage. When I become old and nutty I’m probably going to hit some people… but until then, I will just have to silently deal with it. Really interesting info you’ve got, thankyou! I’m certainly going to try and get some treatment for this.
Oh my word! all these years I just thought I was an annoyingly irritable unfair person.
My triggers for huge inner rage seem to be heavy breathing while eating, and the sound of ladies’ heels walking on a wooden floor. It makes me want to completely hulkout and murder, but instead I sit quietly, with my head in my hands. I really hate the sound of my own footsteps in heels, and I hate the sound of my own breathing if I have earplugs in so that’s all I hear. Absolute rage. When I become old and nutty I’m probably going to hit some people… but until then, I will just have to silently deal with it. Really interesting info you’ve got, thankyou! I’m certainly going to try and get some treatment for this.
I’m 56 years old & my 1st memory of misophonia was before puberty but it really kicked in at puberty. There was no name for it then. No one believed me or understood including my family nor hundreds of medical professionals I’ve sought over the years–both traditional and non traditional–and nothing has ever helped. I feel deeply for fellow sufferers. It isolates you and makes it difficult to keep a relationship or hold a job (I’ve been married and divorced four times and couldn’t begin to count the number of jobs I’ve had) My lifeline has been meditation but I developed a ringing in my left ear two years ago so I no longer have a quiet place inside to go. But I’ve made my life work for me and it’s a beautiful life! Do whatever you have to do to make a peaceful, joyful life for yourself…move to a quiet country neighborhood, only accept kind people in your life, spend lots of time in nature, keep a fan blowing in your home, move the refrigerator to the garage, meditate and join with your inner divinity to fill yourself with so much love tears of gratitude spill down your eyes. Remember everyone has their cross to bear. Everyone has an inside they live with and an outside they show to the world. Don’t compare your insides with their outsides. Read Desiderata–it’s a lovely comforting poem. Love, sympathy, big hug and lots of blessings to you.
Holly, that is a lovely, comforting message. I am struggling at the moment, developing more and more triggers as weeks go by. I am a 40 year old woman who has had Misophonia for around 30 years. My most recent and cruel trigger is that of my 11 year old son’s guitar playing; he is teaching himself to play and when I told him it was a trigger he was heartbroken. In hindsight I shouldn’t have told him and should have proceeded to wear earplugs everytime he played, but I was in such an anxious state I put my own needs before his. This “curse” is cruel, it is irrational and turns us into people that we arent, I am sure I amnot just speaking for myself. I am deperate for help, more desperate than I have ever been in my life. Last night I thought that my kids would be better off without me.
Thank you so much Lifewithmisophonia. You are a blessing to all of us. I am determined to spend more time looking into this and trying to raise awareness. I am also going to try to live a “normal” life and not let this ruin my children’s happiness and development!
Love and kind thoughts to all fellow misophonics xx
Thank you Julie for your note. Another thing that helped me was to accept the misophonia–for example if someone was a paraplegic and didn’t have legs, they’d go thru the stages of pity, anger etc. then finally acceptance because their legs won’t grow back. Well, at this time there is no cure for misophonia and unfortunately we don’t get sympathy from others, there’s no way they can understand the depths of rage and emotional pain we feel when a trigger occurs. So — accept that some people won’t honor your disease and let them go from your life; think about what kind of work you can do where there won’t be any triggers and get a job doing that. I was given anti-depressants for a time and I WOULD NOT RECOMMEND THAT AT ALL. My doctor gives me Xanax to take every day. It’s just an anti-anxiety medication but helps better than anything else that I’ve been given over the years. I’ve been misdiagnosed out of doctors’ ignorance and been given all kinds of medications that didn’t help and their side effects were awful. I also did years of psychotherapy which didn’t help. I tried to ‘exit’ this life 4 times; the 1st at 15 years of age. Like I wrote before, I have a lovely life now. Maybe a cure will be discovered soon but until then, it sure makes life easier to accept the misophonia and make your life work with it. I also realized that because of my isolation from people, tv, movies, concerts–you know, the things most people do, I found a deep rewarding spiritual life (not religious but spiritual) which I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Hey guys iv been stuggling with this disorder its coming to the point where i cant take it anymore. I used to just get angry and violent but now its turning into sucidal thoughts. Im looking for ways to block the noises out or to find a cure if anyone has some adivice please replay back soon thank !!
Hi Jeremy, I’ve written several posts here so I won’t repeat myself but it might help if you read them. An iPod helps, load it with peaceful music and whenever you’re going out where there will be trigger sounds wear it. Unfortunely there’s no cure today but we live in a marvelously advancing society and misophonia is becoming so widespread, a cure could be just around the corner. It pretty much dictates how you’ll live your life. I’m so sorry you’re having to live with this. I’ve had it all my life and I’m 56 so if you have any questions, reply here. There truly is a lot of joy and beauty that’s here and you can have a full loving life with misophonia. Holly
I’m 12 years old and have had misophonia since I was about 10. I’m glad I found out about it soon, but I’d be happier if I didn’t have it at all. My stepdad is sitting on the sofa picking his teeth and making this HORRIBLE sound like somebody popping gum. I honestly would love to throw the coffee table at him. Its so frustrating and horrible and I’ve started silently crying about 3 times and every time he makes the sound I visible cringe, but my mom and stepdad are sitting there ignoring it, because they just think I’m being “fussy” and annoying. I’ve tried to explain to them several times that I have misophonia and they just tell me to shut up and quit fussing. Once when my stepdad was doing this, I politely asked him to stop. All I did was say “Um, can you please stop making that sound?” and he started shouting at me like it was so ridiculous. He stormed off into his bedroom and got my mom and made me tell her what I said, as though I’d cursed at him or something. My mom grounded me for it. She actually grounded me for politely asking him to stop making that horrible annoying sound. I just don’t get why they can’t just believe that I have misophonia and stop being ignorant and unfair.
Maya, You sweet young person. I’m 56 and lived with misophonia all my life. I’ve two posts above that you might want to read. I remember being your age and not respected or honored or believed by my family. If there’s any way possible I wish you’d seek counseling at school or with a therapist, not for your misophonia per se but because you need a kind therapeutic person to talk to to help you get through all the feelings you’re having to deal with. I don’t want you to stifle them inward and sink into a depression; perhaps they’ll want to bring in your stepdad and mom at some point and educate them on what misophonia is. It’s a neurological disease that you have no control over–you’re not just being fussy. If I can help in any way, reply to this post. I’ve set it up so I receive an email to anyone who replies to any of my posts. Hang in there. You are not alone. I love life and you will too. Holly
I completely feel for you Maya. My family does almost the exact same thing, it’s tough.
Hi,
I am wondering if I have misophonia. Can you help me figure it out?
I feel that I am sensitive to tones in voices. For example, a joke that is actually funny will upset me because of the tone of the voice that it is told in. My friends will laugh at the joke, but I feel disgusted by it. I don’t necessarily want to kill the people whose voices trouble me (well, mayyybbee once), but I do know I get angry sometimes. I get angry at the people, and if I ever feel a mean thought wanting to come up, I push it away. I do not know if it is because I am somehow linking it to past voices that were similar and that maybe I didn’t like because of the person themselves. (You know? Like, attaching a personality to a voice.)
Sometimes it’s hard for me to talk to some relatives because I just don’t want to hear the tones in their voices or the way they pronounce things. Sometimes it’s hard for me to make friends because although they are nice people, their voices make me cringe or the things they laugh at or listen to may be funny or written well, but the way it sounds will ruin it for me. There might be a happy song, but I will have a negative reaction to it while my friends enjoy it…I don’t know if that’s just taste in music, though…but it’s like the same reaction as with the funny joke told in a tone that makes me cringe.)
Chewing bothers me, too…I noticed it really bugs me, and I do not know if it is because someone I used to dislike would chew very sloppily, and I thought it was disgusting and was bad manners. It got me angry, and I get angry thinking about it, and so I avoid eating with other people because I don’t want to chew in front of them. I don’t want to upset them…but now I’m thinking that they probably wouldn’t be bothered as much as I would. I don’t know….there’s so much to say. Is it misophonia if it may link to a past memory????
It seems though, that people with misophonia either walk away from the things that bother them or actually snap at whatever is causing the sound…They seem to not know how to handle it at all, and so they wear ear plugs or something(which is a good idea I had not thought of, actually). I just try to ignore the sounds by focusing on something else. I’m known to handle stress, anger, anxiety rather well, but when I am really tired, I prefer to just be isolated for a while. I bottle things up, try to push them away, and then I explode…Anyways, I have also tried to trick myself into thinking that it doesn’t bug me….I try to trick myself into thinking the way I assume others around me think. Like I said, though, if my patience is low, I’m bound to cringe inside…so I don’t know if it’s true misophonia.
Do you think this is misophonia?
Hi, thanks for your comment. I’m not a doctor, but I would say there’s a good chance that you do have misophonia. I would recommend that you try to find an audiologist near you that might be able to make a misophonia diagnosis. Try seeing if any of these experts live near you: http://misophonia-provider.com/PROVIDERS_BY_REGION.html
For a long time, I functioned around bad sounds without earplugs or outbursts. Internally, I was losing it, but I’m not sure anybody could tell based on my outer appearance. So, outbursts and running away from sounds aren’t the only signs of misophonia. The true sign, in my opinion, is the way the sound makes you feel. Do you feel panicked? Do you wish you could get away? Those are the questions I would ask.
oh wow!! thank you guys! the sharing really helps. at least now i know im not a physco-path as people call so. even my parents are so not supportive. thank you so much… :’)
I just found out about this about an hour ago by accident when I was reading a list on buzzfeed and it stopped me in my tracks. I’ve been dealing with this for as long as I can remember. When I was about 6, I would scream at my little sister for chewing so loud and then I’d get in trouble. More than 20 years later, she still teases me because I would bang my fist on the table and kind of growl through my teeth at her. It was the only way I could deal with her at that age. It’s still a family joke that I once told my Mom that I didn’t want any lasagna because it makes gross sounds when you cut it.
I think I have to sit with this for a little bit – this is half relief and half “now what?”
I just recently discovered that the nightmare that I have been trapped in for as long as I can remember has a name and that others are suffering in much of the same way. As a child, I would hide in my room or go into complete rages when i would hear people biting or picking their nails, chewing loudly, tapping– you name it. As an adult, when invited to family dinners, I would eat in one room and everyone else in another. At 37, I’ve been told, “you’re an adult, don’t you think you should “get over it?” Get over it?? Clearly nobody I’ve ever met (especially my family has any idea the degree to which this problem torments me and sends me right over the edge. Last week I read the story of a person who had the EXACT same problem! Better yet, they put a name to it, meaning more than just she and I suffered from it. “MISOPHONIA” made me finally feel validated and that I wasn’t crazy or just a “bitch.” Much love and luck to everyone else suffering from misophonia– may we all find a little peace.
I feel really bad putting this because one person said you either know you have it or you don’t have it. But, i’m really young and i think i have it but i’m not sure. Lots of sounds bother me ,especially a hair dryer. When i hear people even talking in a car it bothers me so much. When people click a pen, slurp a drink, chew on food, breath really loud, clocks ticking, lawn mowers, dishes banging, wrappers being crinkled, dogs barking, floors creaking, cars, even rain dripping on the roof, the list goes on and on.
I praise God you know it’s Misophonia so you wont hate yourself for over 50 years like I did!
just discovered misophonia, kerry catona s therapists ( on this morning ) have cured people from it. they are expensive, but train other therapist to offer a cheaper version… this condition is bringing me to my knees litteraly, i m exhausted…. its ruined who i used to be, & its getting worse & worse….i really hope that one day i get cured, sooner rather than later…
PLEASE be careful when seeking treatment. If it works so easily, why do we all still suffer? Misophonia is a neurological disorder. It cannot be “therapized” away like a phobia. We cannot think our way out of the reflexive responses our brains have to certain stimuli that we have become sensitized through by repetition.
The list of providers you see is a group of audiologists who can help you to cope with having misophonia but they cannot cure it.
[...] Brain facts [...]
Thank you for this article. I just recently moved into a new apartment in a new city with my girlfriend of two years. I’ve dealt with noises from neighbors in the past and just moved out of a quiet house in a good neighborhood. Last night we slept in the apartment in sleeping bags and I heard every single noise and ended up saying to hell with it and looking up why I was so enraged at every door closing or neighbor coughing and every single peep that I could hear and why she was unphased by what I thought were the most annoying sounds in the world. I look forward to reading the rest of your blogs, but it’s great to know that I’m not just being an asshole when I say that I want to move out already and find something in the country and that I have some loose wires upstairs. I still want to move to the countryside, but it’ll be great to deal with this problem as every noise alerts or enrages me and it would hurt our relationship more if I didn’t know about this. Thank you thank you thank you. It’s a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that others are dealing with this and that there is treatment to deal with it.
there are thousands of us who have come to realize we are not alone. there are some excellent websites for reading about peoples experiences with ways to cope and attempts at treatment. please google misophonia and check it all out!!!
http://www.misophonia.info is a great place to start
lifewithmisophonia- You have done an amazing thing with this blog. I work in an office setting with shoulder to shoulder cubicles. I am constantly hearing the sound of keyboard typing and im not even going to get into “Chipotle Day”….. free ships for everyone… AAAHHHHHHH!!! LOL…. not really though uuggghhhhh….. Everyone in a while I will check out this site to hear new stories and hope that someone has discovered something groundbreaking. Even though nothing substantial has come through, reading other’s posts is somewhat calming….
PS. The girl in front of me is eating chips….. with her mouth open…. and has no regard for others….with misophonia.
PSS. Why doesn’t Microsoft Word recognize the word “Misophonia”!?!?!? Unbelievable……
wow!! I am so happy that I thought about looking into my suffering with abrupt noises. I thought I hated people and life, but things are much more pleasant and easier to deal with when I’m wearing some headphones, earplugs, or ear protectors.
It’s been a long time but I’m glad to see I am not alone in this. I really suffer much, my nervous system feels totally burnt out at this point, because of how easily I startle and the constant irritation I feel because of noise. I’ve lost a lot of friends because I can’t stand hearing the ringer on my phone, that’s just one example of how noise has been a constant problem for me most of my life. I’m just happy to see I’m not the only one. Other people usually invalidate my experiences. Thank you for writing about it!
Wow, reading all of this makes me feel some what normal, Thank You to the original author and all the great replies!!
I would love to hear the outcome of your visit with the misophonia specialist. I get these over emotional reactions when I hear any type of saliva noise, and its really effecting my relationships; not only with my boyfriend, but with colleagues and friends.
Can you let me know how you go?
So love this article it so describes, me at best married 2 yrs and can’t stand my husband loud deep voice it drives me nuts I always find myself trying him he is talking to loud and ask him to speak softer smh. Then him clanking utensils on a plate makes me nutty potato chop bags ice cracking dresser draws being shut ugh it’s running me stark raving mad and lets not talk about his smacking and chewing food I just leave the room I need help I love him but this keeps us operated a lot I watch tv low he watches it extremely loud a are like two senior citizens we don’t do much together
Has anyone found any relief with medication? My daughter suffers from Misophonia and as a parent it is heartbreaking and stressful trying to maintain a positive relationship while being constantly verbally and sometimes physically abused. I notice that lack of control is worst when my daughter is under stress. I am so happy to have all of you who openly discuss this condition .. we have tried to seek help from doctors however they will not even entertain the idea that this exists. Very frustrating, however my daughter is a beautiful healthy and smart young woman and for that I am thankful
Soooo.. It is cery much ruling my life and when i tell my family or anyone else that i have it.. They either make the same noise on purpose or call me crazy… They really dont think its a real condition.. Even when i go to church i sit in the back because id hear every noise that goes on behind me.. I miss out on a lot and my life is pass me by and i just turned 18.. Life is hell for me so please help me
I have suffered from Misophonia since I was a child. I told my story to the NY Times and the Today show. Shortly after, I headed the advice of a fellow suffer who reported that he and his son were all but cured following neurofeedback and I began using Nuerofeedback. My Miso has been reduced by 90%. It’s been such a radical life altering experience that I now have bought NeurOptomal neurofeedback systems to try to help other people. Please fellow suffers look into. Feel free to start at my website for info http://www.holisticbraintraining.com and feel free to contact me with questions. Neurofeedback has amazing results for many neurological and other issues.
Wow, I was happy to see this. I’m sorry for all of your suffering. I know how hard it is. I believe I suffer from this. It is strongest with my husband. Chewing, spoon clicking on bowl, brushing teeth & gargling!!!….drives me insane. He does take it personally. He doesn’t really understand that it’s not him, though it makes me irritated with him for making these noises, so I may inadvertently give him the impression that it is him!! I find it interesting that it’s the ones closest to you that annoy you the most and it has definitely become progressively worse with my husband. It’s also interesting that my 2 daughters don’t bother me at all…. Though, a coworker behind me eats apples and scrapes yogurt cups….I try to distract myself, but sometimes I have to just get up & go for a walk.
Thank you for this site. I will have to show it to my husband.
Argh. I know I have this. I too get highly annoyed by people chewing loudly, and the worst is gum! So many people seem to chew it with their mouths open and it makes the most annoying sound. And don’t get me started on the people who make those popping noises with it on purpose! However…the absolute WORST trigger for me is when people cough or clear their throats and you can tell there is a bunch of mucus in their throat. And people who snort mucus too. It really can cause me to break down crying, start sweating/breathing fast, and I have even broken things in my room and scratched my own arms just to keep from going and assaulting the offender. I currently feel like I am trapped in the middle of hell because my mom has bronchitis. And I feel like a really terrible person for getting annoyed with someone who is sick, but no matter what I just can’t seem to help getting upset/enraged whenever she loudly clears her throat and you can just hear all the wet, thick phlegm shifting around!!! She also does that after she eats, even when she isn’t sick at all. And it’s just driven me more and more crazy over the last few years. Normally I’m able to cope because I just keep a fan on in my room, and I just make sure to stay in my room for a little while right after we’ve eaten lunch/dinner. Or if we go out to eat I just listen to my iPod during the car ride home and block her out. But when she’s sick, she’s doing it literally every five seconds, and, it is so loud that I can wear earplugs (I actually went out and bought some the other day) AND turn my fan all the way up on high (it is just BLASTING) and I can STILL hear her no matter what part of the house she’s in! She actually was in the room right next to my bedroom this morning when I was still sleeping and she woke me up with that awful noise. I literally am living in fear of this noise and I am staying in my room all day with my headphones on since that’s the only thing that will actually block her out. I’m worried my parents are going to get suspicious and ask me why I’m never eating with them anymore. I feel like a total crazy person when I say this, but one time when both my parents went out (my mom actually isn’t so sick that she can’t go anywhere) I used that opportunity to hoard all of the non-perishable food that I could in my room, just so I could eat in my room and so I won’t even have to go out into the kitchen to get anything (even stepping into the kitchen for one minute means that I’ll probably have to hear the noise). I almost wonder if I have the “phobia” part because I actually am almost afraid to come out of my room and have my ears assaulted. I can’t tell my mom about this because I’m afraid she’ll think I’m crazy. I did politely ask her to stop one time (a long time ago, when she wasn’t sick) but she just got kind of huffy and told me she couldn’t help it.
I feel like a crazy and terrible person, but it’s good to at least know there are others who have some of the same problems as me….
Wow! I am relieved and surprised to discover all of this and all of you! Thank you all for sharing your stories and struggles. It is comforting to know that there are many other people out there who understand, even though I wouldn’t wish this upon anyone. It is also comforting to know that this “issue” that I’ve struggled with for as long as I can remember, has a name, and some possible treatments.
I can’t believe that I never thought to look this up before tonight, especially since I’m always researching things on the internet. I’m not sure exactly when it began for me, but it was over twenty years ago. I’m pretty certain that my mom and sister have it as well and I always thought my mom must have passed it on to us. I have often wondered what was wrong with me and why I couldn’t find a way to overcome it. I’ve also been baffled by how other people were not annoyed by the sounds like I was. When people chew, breathe heavily, snore, bite or pick at their nails, and/or click pens, I want to scream and beat the crap out of them at the same time. I often have to leave the room.
This has definitely caused some issues in my marriage. I’ve tried to explain to my husband that it’s not him personally and that I just can’t help it! For the first time tonight he said said something about how I hadn’t tried to do anything about it. I realized that he was right. That is what led me here.
I’m not sure what neurofeedback is, but I’m definitely going to look into it. I know what biofeedback is and I wonder if it’s the same thing? I’ll be doing a lot of research for sure! I am excited about the possibility of finding a treatment that may help, even though it sounds like there’s not much out there. I have been into yoga and meditation for a long time and have often thought that perhaps I should just go live in a cave in India and meditate for the rest of my life so that I didn’t have to hear the annoying sounds anymore. Ha! I’m pretty social though, so I didn’t imagine that I’d last too long.
I’ll share a funny story… Ten years ago, I was teaching for my second year at a private school and my fifth and sixth grade students would often click their pens. So naturally, I would repeatedly ask them to stop clicking their pens so that I didn’t have to beat them with a ruler. Kidding…. So one day, the three male musketeers (aka troublemakers) in my class devised a plan. They all began incessantly clicking their pens at the same time, and needless to say, I snapped! I took the pens from them and any other “clicky” pens that they had and I wrote them up. The very next day I sent a note home to all of the parents that clicky pens were no longer allowed in my classroom and that they would all need to bring in pens that did not click. Can you say psycho??? That’s how I felt, but I didn’t care! I couldn’t bear the thought of that happening again. And that was the end of that.
About six years later, I found many of my old students on Facebook and reconnected with them. After some back and forth conversation with one of the three musketeers (who was quite the smart ass), I asked where he was planning on attending college. He said he was hoping to go to Devry, which I knew was a lie/joke because he was somewhat of a prodigy child and I knew he would have to be going to a more renowned university. So I played along and asked what he was going to major in at Devry and guess what he said?
Yep, you guessed it…pen clicking! I got quite the kick out of that and I told him that my husband had majored in the same thing. Let’s just say that I’ve wanted to stick a few clicky pens where the sun don’t shine! ;-p
Sending warm thoughts and prayers that we all may find a way to live in peace, free from misophonia. Thanks again everyone!
Really pleased I found your site, and the explanations you left there about the possible causes of this condition, which I’ve been looking for a quite while. Not exactly it means the wires of the auditory and limbic system are connected, but that inside the brain it seems that a reaction to certain sound signals produce in the limbic system (emotion control mostly) the production of neurotransmissors (substances that control emotion and mental condition) that are associated with a negative feeling. How this connection starts in the first place I guess is known, but that would explain why the sounds are so selective.
Appart from misophonia, I’ve been an OCD sufferer since I was 7 years old, and while I’ve managed to control it for years and actually achieve quite a few things (I got many national prizes in knowdlege contests), recently at my 2nd year of university I started to develop the misophonia to 2 specific sounds.
My first trigger is when people smash doors or objects, I really get very frustrated as I lose concentration and just feel pain in my ears; this mostly happens in my house and with the neighbors, and I get angered to the point I’ve actually started shouting them to “shut up” or “stop it”, although I know they don’t intend too and I feel kinda bad for the, The second trigger I developed 1 month after this was the intense hate to whenever someone whistles. It comes to the point whenever I hear it I inmediatly cover with force my ears, I feel that sound almost like a burning sword that is piercing in my head. I hate it mostly when they do it during classes, or specially during exams; I can’t concentrate and basically I lost a lot of time until my classmate finishes his song. In this case, however, I really feel he has no respect, and even other buddies, although they do not experience misophonia, have told me they also find annoying mostly this classmate spends all the time whistling aloud as if he was in his house.
My dad has got me some earplugs recently that are at least a bit helping me dish out the annoying sounds, but since the protection is about 32 Db I can’t take them totally out (I am actually using them now), and besides I developed a very sensitive ear since I play piano. Although I know I can get some that protect more, I want to be able to simply tolerate the sounds as I know the environment I will be working on will make me face a lot of these “challengues”. At least I suggest in the first place earplugs for you guys to start with, or filter it with music since it helps a lot for you to relax. Regarding the cures, I can’t discard there will be one, and I’m actually planning the possibility to include this topic into my future researches when I finish my Ph.D. For the while, the best therapies know are the ones mentioned here by our dear blogger.
I am glad to read your experiences and see I am not alone, and I hope we can help each other. If anyone wants someone to hear them or looking for some councels, I am open brothers and sisters also in case you need me. You can send me anytime an email to wgames.gamekids@gmail.com
Wow, in my blog I just referenced an early memory of throwing out my brother’s food in a chewing noise rage at the age of 10, followed by years of chasing the silent hours, and then today my work colleague mentioned misophonia, which I had never heard of, which I then looked up, which brought me here, to this blog, also on WordPress, only using the SAME FREAKING template I use for my blog. Mind. Blown.
http://cognitivebehaveyourself.com/2013/05/13/sleep-slidin-away-part-ii-the-results/
To me the noise repeats over and over in my head, does anyone else have this?
I’m pretty sure that I have mild misophonia. Whenever people are chewing gum with their mouths open or just chewing really loudly, I get so irritated! How can I help this?