My misophonia triggers have changed over time — have yours?

One thing that has been particularly frustrating about my misophonia is that the trigger sounds I’ve had have increased and evolved over time, and I’ve even developed certain visual triggers. When I was in middle school, it seemed like the only thing that really triggered my condition was the sound of people smacking their lips when they ate. I was mostly bothered by people who didn’t chew with their mouths closed. If they ate something crunchy but their mouth was closed, that was fine.

This picture accompanied a story about misophonia published in The Sun in April.

I can’t remember the precise order, but eventually crunching bothered me, and gum popping, and then even the sound of a food packaging rustling. Perhaps because I associated that noise with the trigger noises of eating that would soon follow? Then there was nail biting, then anyone picking at their fingernails.

One day I sat by my mother in church and just began noticing her foot tapping as she had her legs crossed. I found this incredibly disturbing because I was feeling the same emotions I would feel from hearing a trigger noise. But this wasn’t a noise. At that point in my life, I did not know about the condition I had and that others had it. I was certain that I was losing my mind, and I worried about what could possibly be next for me.

I’ve since learned through research that many people with misophonia also have visual triggers like foot tapping or seeing people put their hands near their mouths. Others have reported particular trigger feelings such as having one’s chair kicked repeatedly in an auditorium. That last one is another trigger I have.

This year, breathing noises have started to bother me. Learning this was devastating. You can still have normal interactions with people if you’re bothered by chewing noises; people are not constantly eating. But they are constantly breathing. So far, the only person whose breathing upsets me from time to time is that of my partner. I started to notice it one night when I was trying to fall asleep next to him, and I panicked. It doesn’t bother me all the time, but I’m worried about what it could mean if my breathing trigger worsens.

Having sounds that trigger anger and anxiety seems bad enough, but when those triggers evolve or get worse, it makes it harder to cope. I’m curious: have others with misophonia found that their triggers evolve? Have the triggers gotten worse? Have they ever gotten better?

Hey, I can dream.

If you’re curious about the story that goes with the photo in this post, read that story here.

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32 responses

  1. Does anyone ever wish they would just go deaf?

  2. My misophonia makes me wanna end up with my life sometimes. Maybe its just anxiety, but its so sad. It unnecessarily keeps me away from the people I love. Lets just please find a cure to it. Im whiling to help. By the way, I’m only 17, but I would do anything. Please help us. Thank you

  3. I’m 32 and my triggers have definitely gotten worse. I still have all the originals…smacking, clicking, breathing, bass music, candy wrappers, etc… NOw, it’s the hum of appliances, my cats when they bath, a certain shower head setting that my husband uses, and the whooshing of the dishwasher. This disorder is so stupid!! I hate having it. It makes me feel like some slack-jawed fruit loop that should be living in a padded room. Hey, a padded room might be quiet! Anyway, I’m in headphones and earplugs all the time. The earplugs definitely make it worse because it actually makes your hearing sharper…irony anyone? It’s a catch 22 though… I have to have them. I now have tinnitus on top of everything else. It sounds like a cricket constantly chirping in my left ear. It’s a trigger and it’s ALWAYS there!!!! Now I sleep at night on my right side with an earplug in my right ear and one earbud playing rain sounds in the left ear to drown out the tinnitus. It has got to be some kind of cosmic joke. One day at a time, right? More like 5 minutes at a time. Oh, and how about those people who just whistle at the top of lungs in the grocery store? Stop. Just stop. Last thing, my college actually celebrated national bubble wrap day. no joke. There were piles and piles of bubble wrap free for the taking. That was a bad, bad day.

  4. I really thought I was going insane. Little noises like animals licking, people eating, and even MOVEMENTS of others make me lose control. The noises seem to get louder and louder and block out all other sounds until I literally jump up and escape. I can become enraged if I cannot escape, say I’m in my car driving, and occasionally a full blown tantrum follows. I’ve noticed recently that my intolerance to fidgeting has skyrocketed, as my child is almost 5 and all she does is fidget. I feel terrible inside after I snap at her about having her fingers in her mouth or moving around constantly, but just a few minutes of it is enough to cause a meltdown in my brain. I don’t want to be a bad/mean mommy and girlfriend, because I know they don’t understand what I’m experiencing. My boyfriend just thinks I’m a jerk and my daughter thinks I’m mean =/

    I know you posted this years ago but I’m just finding out that I am not alone, and I may not be completely crazy.

  5. Haha don’t you think it’s ironic how it’s called soft sound sensitivity syndrome, all with an ‘s’ ahhh it’s like they do it on purpose:( anyway good luck to all of you and I hope one day there will be a cure and we will all find the serenity that we crave

  6. Hi, I’ve had this since about 8 yrs old and I am 16 now. I have many triggers including the sound of t.v. And radio when I’m not in the room, scraping with a spoon or fork on a plate, yawning, the sound of flip flops, etc. but this is only exclusive to my family! Especially chewing, my brother does it on purpose and follows me and I run to my room crying bc it’s just too much rage. I only get slightly annoyed, we’ll not rly annoyed just my brain completely zones in on the sound when random people do it. I was wondering if for anyone the misophonia got worse with age and if the triggers caused by non-family members were produced over time. I also had severe OCD when I was 7-12 but it has dissipated and now I only have like 3 tendencies instead of 20. I was wondering if anyone else has OCD and that maybe there might be a connection. Please respond to this and thank you.

    1. Hi Catie, I’ve heard that people with misophonia can have some Ocd tendencies, but not necessarily full-blown Ocd. It’s possible that there is some connection, but nobody knows for sure as of yet. Thanks for the interesting comment.

    2. its horrible. im a kid too and it bothers me that my family does it on purpose. my mom doesnt but my dad and brother both do because they find it funny. i would love to be able to even eat dinner with them for once. to sit at the table and be able to laugh with them instead of eating alone in a room. to be able to go to a movie with a friend. and it just gets worse. more sounds, more triggers the longer it goes on. i honestly dont even know how to cope with it. in school im fine but as soon as i step through that door to my home the triggers kick in. all i can thinks is: if its this bad now how will it be when im 80? am i going to feel like beating up someone just because they look at me?

  7. I agree with the idea that evolution can be caused by association. I have problems with chewing noises, and used to not have problems with crinkling of bags, crunching, or even gum popping. Eventually I had problems with all of these things, because I would associate it as a warning sign that pure agony was to follow. It wasn’t the same reaction as actual problem noises, just more like “OH SH*T.”

  8. I am so thankful for this blog and all the posts, THANK YOU for creating it. I’ve just learned about Misophonia last month and that it applies to me. While it’s comforting knowing that I am not alone, I feel very sad that many others are suffering too. Especially children and teens without compassionate adults in the home. I suppose at the very least when they are of age, they can move out and choose to be around more understanding people.
    My triggers have certainly evolved from just sounds to now more sounds and what I see. As a teen and young adult, repetitive sounds and household appliance sounds (air conditioner, washing maching) would bother me but not everyday. Now about 10 years later, I am bothered by sounds just about every day as well as flashing lights or anything repetitive. Even the television (my old friend!) bothers me as the “flashing” from changing from scene to scene or to commercial makes my brain want to short circuit. Drawers shutting, anything breathing (another repetitive pattern), the drum beats from music, any sort of echo (especially from a key pressed on a piano) have all been added to the list. Ticking clocks is a big one. I’ve noticed that the more stress I am under for a long period of time, the worse and more frequent it gets. My therapist thinks it could be that the stress is eating up what little buffer there is to try and tune out the sounds. I don’t know, but I do know that I’m grateful to Sarah’s post mentioning HSP. I’ve never heard of HSP but just took the quiz and marked all the boxes. Knowing that there’s a name is definetly helpful, hopefully more research will be done and better treatment available soon. Thank you, this has been a real boost of hope.

  9. i just found out the other day about the term “misophonia” so i am now doing the google seach tour, lol. glad i came across your blog, and to answer your question, while existing triggers haven’t changed (except that my reactions to some have gotten worse over time), the list is definitely getting longer. for me, it started in high school when the sound of my mom chewing food really annoyed me (due to our schedules we didn’t eat together that often, so this wasn’t a big problem). then it progressed to my classmates chewing gum, but thankfully that wasn’t allowed in class so i didn’t have to deal with it that often.

    then in college – BOOM. noise everywhere and lots of stress. that’s when bass was added to the list (the sound, not the fish). with current music there is a lot of bass, especially repetitive bass and it would drive me nuts. my reaction to chewing got a lot worse, especially to gum chewing which tends to be louder and carried out during times when there is less background noise to block it out. i also developed what i called “captain hook syndrome” (having a funny name for it made it easier to tell other people about – it got a better reaction because they thought it was humorous); i couldn’t stand ticking clocks. college is also when i developed visual triggers and that got really bad really fast. i now cannot tolerate virtually any repetitive movement, whether it be “leg tapping”, scratching and itch for more than a few seconds, etc. i don’t even like repetitive patterns, like a picture repeated on wallpaper, for example.

    i love dogs but if i got one i would have to train it not to groom, as grooming noises are a really bad trigger for me. in case anyone is wondering, it is possible to train dogs not to groom (with bitter spray) but difficulty varies by breed. i also love music but i can’t tolerate any popular current music due to the repetitive bass.

    my theory is that, for me anyway, triggers are added when i hear them a lot in times of stress. i never had a problem with bass until college when i heard it all the time while i was trying to sleep, study, etc and that stressed me out. same with the leg tapping, that would happen a lot in the library, and being a person that is very aware of her surroundings, it would draw my attention away from what i was trying to do, which would then cause stress.

    i should also mention that i’m an hsp, and i think this makes my misophonia worse because i am so sensitive to my environment. a lot of times i hear or see things that other people don’t even notice (not in a crazy way – it’s stuff that’s actually there, lol). well, that’s enough of that. thanks for the blog, i look forward to reading through it!

  10. I believe whoheartedly that misophonia can be conquered.

    This season has been one in which I learned a significant amount of the miracles Jesus did during his three-year ministry. Even people then felt immense despair because there was no apparent cure for many conditions they were dealing with. Society has similar reactions to them. Take the lepers for example: they had to shout “unclean!” everywhere they went lest they be exiled or stoned to death. I cannot say that I know just how they felt, but I can say that I understand it was painful and isolating. People have seen there is something wrong with us. We seem strange, maybe even “unclean.” I should add, however, that Jesus had compassion on them. He superceded their circumstances and the limitations of the current times in order to give them a miracle.

    My triggers have evolved. It began with my sister chewing gum in the car when I was 5 years old. I’m 21 now. I have suffered since the start of high school when a girl named Erica was chewing next to me. I remember the sensation of something like an alien being born, some slimy new creature emerging in my life that was out to destroy me. It was horrifying because I had dreaded it. So now the world is a new kind of battlefield. They don’t bother me much less. I have to be honest. My perspective is changing, though. I have to walk in the healing that Christ promises and in the meantime He is working to–as my counselor and I say–change my brain. Keep dreaming, friend.

    For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
    2 Timothy 1:7

  11. Hello, I am new here.
    My triggers have changed through out the year for sure. I went a few months with no trigger reactions. Then they came back.
    I have recently began having slight triggers with certain words, such as “congrats” and “buckle”. I do not know why.
    And also, this is a little hard to admit. Sometimes if I can not escape a situation, I cause pain to myself. Not cutting or stabbing, but smacking and/or pinching.
    For example. I was camping in an RV with my parents. I was in the living room trying to sleep and my mom was talking to my dad. All I could hear was the “s” sounds of her words. SSsss…..sssss……sssssss. Like a snake. The door was closed to their room, but I could not drown the noise out. So I slapped myself in the face just to get the rage out.

    1. Welcome to the blog! Wow, very interesting that you had a few months break. I wonder if something changed in your life or made it go away somehow? I’m sad to hear that you cause harm to yourself. Perhaps talking to a professional about that might help you find other ways to cope with what you’re feeling while you react to a trigger. You are in my thoughts and I wish you the best.

  12. I just can’t believe it. I watched the 20/20 episode last night and all I could do was gasp, “That’s me!!” Laughing, shocked, yet relieved that this “thing” I’ve been dealing with my whole life is real. It’s not made up. Other people can relate. I’m not all that crazy! The first thing I did was call my mom and we talked about all the sounds that bothered me since I was a kid. Most of them came from her and still do! Just picturing them or talking about them makes my skin crawl! I’ve read the symptom checklists and I have almost all the triggers and then some. I’ve got visual and tactile triggers as well. My coping strategies are what saves me though-and it’s taken years to use these in public without caring what everyone thinks. I mean after all, I live in a city where I have to deal with people’s sounds everyday on the train and had to learn to keep it in check. I still feel the same inside, ready to explode, but my reactions are calmer with the different coping mechanisms I use. I’ve learned different ways to block the triggers in a discrete way-people probably think I just have an earache the way I cover one ear or that I have a headache the way I shield my eyes. I’ve noticed that blocking the visual greatly lessens the intensity of the sound or at least my emotional response to it. If I see it, it’s 10x worse. I have visual and tactile triggers as well. I live in NYC and would love to talk so some fellow people that can relate or know of any specialists in the city. Thanks so much for this support! There is hope.

  13. I’m so glad I found your blog. I didn’t know about CBT and I’m really interested in it. I feel so depressed. I’m 16, and even though I had loosely told my family I have trouble with certain sounds they make, and even after yelling at my sister once, they still don’t view it as a real problem. I feel severely misunderstood. Just now I had to excuse myself from the living room because there was the sound of a muffled television from the basement which made me start to cry. I’m also terrified of having this disorder. I don’t want to not be able to go out to restaurants or be around friends when they’re eating. I know it’s already starting to get worse… It used to just be specific noises my immediate family would make, but I’m being bothered by some other people too. I’m sorry if this sounds like a lot of complaining but I’m just really upset. Anyway, your blog is great, I’m going to stay tuned! 😀

    1. Hi Steph,
      Don’t ever apologize for what you say here. This is a support group and we are here for you.
      I too had a problem explaining to my family about this condition. They thought I was doing it for attention. It wasn’t until 21 years later that my mom has listened to me. (i am 31 now. my first trigger was about 9 or 10 years of age)
      The best thing to do is get some printed information about misophonia or show your family some youtube videos. 20/20 just had a show on misophonia too.
      This helped greatly with my family and friends. They no longer make fun of me or exaggerate the sounds that bother me.
      Hope I helped you out a little.

      1. Hey Jessi-

        I totally relate-it’s really hard telling the folks or other people and hoping they’ll understand. I’m 32 now and I spent my whole life begging my family to believe me or tried to make them see but they just couldn’t. They’d tell me “oh just deal with it, why are you so sensitive, ignore it, etc etc…” and since the age of 6 maybe 8 when things started, until now-I’ve still been trying to convince them. But until this 20/20 special, (I called my mom up and asked her to watch it) my mom just thought I was crazy (and so did I) and she said it was just part of my “personality.” The thing is, she just can’t relate. And that has to be okay. My dad has it too, so believe it or not, without her knowing it, she has been dealing with and somewhat adapting to 2 people that have it for all these years! But what’s most important now, is that I take care of myself and try to let go of having them believe me. She is my earliest trigger person, (she does the most things that trigger me) and told her my list after watching that show and she told me that she didn’t do half the things I listed. Ha, trust me, she does-it’s like her sounds are scarred in my brain and skin forever! I totally get doing whatever you can to cope with the sounds. I even get the self-inflicting pain-but maybe try other ways to release it-I used to love to mimic my moms’ sounds-so behind her back (lol) I used to do them at the top of my lungs a few times until it calmed. I also feel it physically in my body and literally need to “brush if off” of my skin-so sometimes I brush my arms really hard or squeeze them really hard-def helps. I’ve spent all these years thinking I was weird or crazy and it just feels so good to know now that I’m not-it’s just something I have and there are other peeps out there just like us! WE ARE NOT WEIRD 🙂 Ps-Those “sssss’s” drive me crazzzzzy too! 🙂

    2. same thing here. its gets worse every week and it bothers me. i hate having it since im a kid and i cant even go to the movies with a friend. i certainly cant go with my family. the sound they make while chewing popcorn for an hour and thirty minutes drives me nuts. my dad and brother know about it yet they do it on purpose to annoy me because they find it funny. school doesnt bother me its just at home. i have to always eat dinner alone even though i want to sit with my family and laugh with them.

  14. Hello! I have a question for you. I think I have Misophonia, and that I have had this since I was about six years old. My worst “sounds” are whistle smacking and breathing trough your nose, but theese sounds does not always bother me, on TV it is OK and the closer I get to a person the worse it gets. Is this something you recorgnise??

    1. Yeah, my trigger noises are worse with different people and in different environments. I’m no doctor or anything, but I’d say your symptoms sound like misophonia for sure. Whistling does bother me sometimes, and so do breathing noises. Having a problem with breathing sounds is pretty normal for misophonia, as is having a problem with mouth smacking.

  15. It seems hopeless at the moment. I’m lucky in being able to live alone and to work alone, in cleaning jobs where the people are out, or it’s communal areas and not somebody’s home.
    I refuse to do office jobs as it would be just – ugh! People all around: impatient/heavy-handed movements; sounds of things being put down or – more likely – tossed down; things being shut, or allowed to slam. lIst is endless!
    As for neighbours! Ugh again. One of the worst sounds: the second-hand impact-sounds of other people through a party-wall or floor.
    I get by with the usual permanently-in earplugs and headphones, and playing my radio quite loud.

    1. I know what you mean Kate. I live in an apartment at the moment and have some noisy neighbors. I also got an email at my work yesterday reminding everybody to not wear too much perfume in the office because that agitates some people. If only they knew what agitates me! Maybe some day.

      1. I am sorry not to have responded to your message, lifewithmisophonia. I only came by today and found it. I don’t seem to have received email alerts on this subject so I’ll try and fix this, if I can find the option.
        Actually – at this moment in time (don’t speak too soon!) – it’s been lovely and quiet in my block of flats, but there’s always that risk: just the fact one lives in a building shared by other people – there’s BOUND to be some impact-type sound coming through the walls and ceilings (fortunately I live on the top floor – though I have felt that some impact sounds (people shutting doors or windows) can seem to travel UPwards!).

    2. Stephanie Harber | Reply

      Im really not sure us few with this problem, should always have headphones in. Im sure its bad for our ears or something, you know? Its not normal to have noise permanantly pushed into your ears. Though i’m certainly not willing to try and stop! My boyfriend went and spoke to the neighbours this evening and he said they’ve been quite good so far. But I wouldn’t know. I don’t even want to take my headphones out half of the time. Just best if they stay put. Plus in the office, one of the doors that is always in use, was always slamming shut so someone has done something with the carpet I think, it only closes properly if youpush it so people in and out will no longer be an issue. And we are moving rooms tomorrow so we will have more background noise so Im hoping that will help. I am being sat next to a woman who eats oranges at her desk like she has no teeth.. slap slap slap! And the other side, she is pretty good. Though I have noticed her licking away on a lolly before so I think a few more toilet breaks are to be had while they are eating. We shall see though, I wont be there forever 🙂

      1. Stephanie, have you tried ear plugs? You’ve probably already thought of this, so I hope I don’t sound preachy. It might be a nice alternative to loud music. I use earplugs at work and just tell my coworkers that it helps me focus. I have heard though that some people say their misophonia has gotten worse since they started using earplugs, like it’s become a crutch or something they need to rely on more and more. I have no idea if that’s actually true.

        1. Yeah I always wear earplugs too. I wore some out of the house the other day for a change but didnt last long as boyf had to keep repeating himself and the wind was blowing my hair and the plugs i had were bright pink and yellow hhaha.
          i dont always have music on loud, often loud enough to cover noises, plugs dont always work so i prefer the music then i can relax.
          I know what you mean with the relying on them, i put plugs in when i had a bath the other day, not really needed but its a safety thing, if you are prepared then its ok. The neighbours son’s bedroom is next to ours and we have an en suite so I can hear everything from next door so I ant relax even in the bath. But as much as I try to always have something in I have noticed it getting slighty worse so when I think of it i leave my ears alone for as long as i can.
          Does make you feel slightly more anxious and as you are without protection it can sometimes make the reaction ten times worse than it would have been if you knew you had some protection,
          Think that makes sense! lol 🙂

      2. You mentioned a door that ‘was always slamming shut’. Was this because people were shutting it too forcefully? Or that they were letting it slam behind them because of an over-tight self-closing spring?

        To me, either way is as bad as the other: it just shows a complete lack of sensitivity to one’s surroundings and/or other people’s sensibilities. And sadly, there seems to be all too many people lacking in sensitivity in this way. Even more sadly, this non-sensitivity and its resultant actions seems to be accepted as a cultural norm now: “well, it just happens…..therefore it’s acceptable. So-what-are-you-whingeing-about” sort of attitude.

        Whether it’s things being too-forcefully shut, eating/breathing etc sounds, or wearing overly strong perfumes/aftershaves, it’s the same imitative-acceptance of these triggers that will perpetuate these – at the expense of we sensitive types!

  16. Stephanie Harber | Reply

    Hi, I am newly aware of the name of this so I am all over google finding new things to read. Probably spent about 6 hours so far looking since last night when I discovered it.
    Have my triggers changed? No but the list has seriously got bigger and bigger. Im on 23 so far and I know I am no where near the end.
    I literally live with headphones in or earplugs, which is so annoying for others but brings me so much peace as I know I can relax when I have them in.
    I am 23 years old and for as long as I can remember I have hated sniffing, heavy breathing and lip smacking. For my entire life I’ve forever screamed ‘Shut Up’ to everyone at home, I never eat with them, I used to only do so at Christmas and even then I would either try and lean on an elbow to enable me to have a finger in my ear to reduce the sound and still be able to eat with them, now I manage to avoid it at all costs.
    Now daily life for me is, sleeping with ear plugs in, have done so since I was 15 and I discovered the delights of wearing them, I will take them out when I go to walk out of the house and never before. I will manage the journey to the car, from the car park to the office and get through sometimes the first ten minutes to see what work needs doing, then the headphones are in all day. I will take them out to go to the printer sometimes and if there arent many ‘annoying’ people in the office I will take them out to give my ears a break. Then when I get home, out of the car, walk in the house and headphones go straight back in as we have neighbours ‘slightly’ louder than they need to be, but for me slightly is extreme in any case. Then I spend 90% of the night with headphones in. If there is tv I want to watch I have recently taken to wearing earplugs and turning it right up so I can watch it and relax. As soon as I hear something thats it, the rage starts and I think oh F*** this I wont watch my effing programme I’ll jus sit here with my headphones on like a moron!
    The fact I have such odd issues also winds me up alot, and people just DO NOT understand, They can say ‘oh yeah I get it’ but you know they don’t really get anything.
    I also have the twitchy leg thing, a few people in my office do it, And if they sit next to me have to ask them to stop, without sounding like a whiny cow. Then if they carry on even if I have asked them to stop, I try to move myself into a position so I cant see it, but in my head is still happening. I find if they stop doing it i try and focus on the stillness and look away and think itsok, they arent moving and see the still legs image in my head and that helps alot. But then I will forget and see them and it will start all over again until thet are completly away from me, or me from them in most cases. I dont get much work done these days. They are usually spent wandering around to avoid getting worked up sitting at my desk with these people.
    Thats alot of text… apologies! Ha.
    Thanks for reading, please feel free to comment on anything I have said 🙂

    1. Thanks so much for your comments, and for sharing your story. You’ve also reminded me that I haven’t posted in a long time! I am glad that you can put a name to what you’ve been dealing with. I remember that being a big relief for me. Unfortunately, naming it doesn’t make it go away. It’s my hope that one day workplaces and society in general will have a better knowledge of this condition, so people with Misophonia might have better accommodations, and people won’t think we’re just being mean/whiny. : )

    2. Ha! Omg. I think my favorite thing that you shared about is how even if you move yourself in a different position to not see the trigger, it’s still there in your mind! I’m LOL because this is exactly what happens to me too!!! It’s like it lingers. The sound the visual, it stays in my ear or my mind or my body, i can literally feel it and it can make my skin crawl until I have to shake it out of my system or be sure it’s really done. And if I see it again, I’m back to the beginning again! Amazing. I’m just in shock. Can’t believe this is all real and this is something I legitimately have along with so many others!

    3. I’m 15 and I’ve been living with earphones in my ears since i was ten. I can’t go anywhere without them just like you and I can’t sleep with out them. My triggers or what I like I call them, demons, are coughing, breathing, talking, tapping, hissing, lisps, eating, sniffling , pencil writing, and screeching . I’ll become very angry if I hear one or see of these and it’ll feel very discomforting. It’s the worst feeling someone could have. I see a therapist for it but it only seems like it’s getting worse.

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