Since I last updated my blog several months ago, significant changes have occurred with my trigger noises, and I haven’t had much luck with cognitive behavioral therapy.
As I’ve written about in the past, I did not think CBT would every be a cure for misophonia, but I was willing to try it if it would help me cope with some of my negative feelings associated with hearing trigger sounds.
I tried the classic CBT techniques. I exposed myself to trigger noises and tried to calm myself with breathing or relaxation techniques to try to bring down my negative emotions while experiencing the trigger sound. I’ve used CBT with certain phobias, and had some pretty good success, but I didn’t have that same success when using it for misophonia. If someone else has, I’d love to hear about any particular techniques that were useful.
Relaxation and breathing techniques, however, did appear helpful at calming me down after I was able to escape the sound that was causing my negative emotions. Without using relaxation techniques, I can find that too much exposure to a trigger noise can send me into an awful mood for minutes after getting away from the sound. Does that happen to anyone else? It’s like I still hear the sound in my head even though the sound has stopped, and I dwell on it.
Relaxation techniques such as deep-belly breathing have helped me not dwell on those trigger noises after they’ve passed. That’s something at least.
Another challenge I faced while trying to use CBT was that I got passed around to two different therapists, and neither of them had heard of misophonia. It takes a while to educate a therapist about misophonia, and it was particularly frustrating to go through that process multiple times. I’m no longer seeing a therapist regularly.
The newest trigger that’s been impacting my life is the nose whistle. In particular, the whistle my partner’s nose makes while my partner is sleeping. I end up wearing earplugs to sleep every night, in addition to wearing them often while at work if a coworker is eating or chewing gum (which happens frequently). I get occasional ear pain and worry that wearing ear plugs all the time could lead to an ear infection, but it’s still the best way to keep myself sane and functioning.
That’s all the progress (or lack thereof) to report for now. Some visitors to the site asked for an update. As a side note, I wanted to say that I never expected this many people to find my blog and find value in it. I’m happy that this is one of the sites people go to when realizing they have misophonia, a condition so many others have. Thanks for reading, and please make sure to visit other resources to help you learn more about this condition we share.
I finally got set up with a therapist to talk about some coping strategies for misophonia. This therapist does not specialize in misophonia; in fact she hadn’t even heard about it until I stepped into her office on the morning of my appointment.
She gave me the same puzzled look my primary care doctor had given me, but being a therapist, she was respectful and willing to learn more. I gave her a list of articles to read up on the topic, the New York Times article in particular (one reason why coverage of misophonia is so important).
During our appointment, she explained cognitive behavioral therapy. Essentially, it’s the idea that situations outside of our control can impact our thoughts and our emotions and ultimately our behaviors. But if we try to recognize negative thoughts and interrupt them, then we can replace bad thoughts with good ones and start to get a grip on our emotions and behaviors that are typically caused by an unpleasant situation. Please understand, this type of therapy is commonly used for anxiety and depression, and it’s use to treat misophonia is experimental only. As far as I know, it hasn’t cured a single person. It’s strictly a way to make it a little bit easier to cope.
At the end of that initial appointment, my therapist gave me an assignment: write down my thoughts every time I hear a trigger sound. What am I actually thinking? I had never done this before, and I honestly didn’t want to face the reality of it because my thoughts had become so awful. I came up with a system of texting myself my thoughts while I was at work, and recording them one a piece of paper once I got home.
I found brief relief initially. A coworker would pop in a piece of gum for the fifth time that day, and I would become irate, but then I would have to stop. And pay attention to my thoughts. It interrupted my anger for a bit, maybe a few seconds. It didn’t make the problem go away, and eventually my physiological responses to the sound would, nonetheless, cause a wave of panic, disgust and contempt to rise up from within. In the earplugs would go. Or I’d make a trip to the bathroom to give myself a break from the sound.
My thoughts that I recorded made me feel completely ashamed and disappointed with myself. The “C” word used toward a woman I find to be quite pleasant. Complete revulsion. Words like “gross,” “disgusting,” and “sick” would pop into my mind. Feelings of self pity: “Again?” “Of course she’s going to eat that apple now, at the worst possible time.” “Why is this happening to me?!”
I returned several weeks later to the therapist (my health care provider is overloaded with mental health patients, so therapy appointments are hard to come by). I shared my recorded thoughts with her. She said we would need to arm me with an arsenal of strategies I can use every time I encounter a trigger noise. Escaping is working for me with the ear plugs, as well as getting up to leave a situation when I can. Are there ways I could distract myself when I hear a trigger?
If I need to sit at my desk and talk on the phone and a trigger noise begins, are there ways I can adjust to make things at least a little better? Maybe put an ear plug in the ear I’m not using?
Another interesting suggestion the therapist had was to replace the negative thoughts I have in response to a trigger with a positive thought that I know to be true. For example, people use this cognitive behavioral technique if they have problems with road rage. Instead of blowing up when someone displays horrible driving techniques, which might be true, try to replace it with something like: “Everyone does the best they can.” Or: “This too shall pass.” The trick is that it has to be something that is true to you, and also positive.
When I get triggered at work, I’ve been trying to focus on the person and the traits I like about them rather than on the noise they are making. I try to think things like: “So-and-so is a nice person. He is not trying to hurt me. He doesn’t know any better.” I’ve also been trying to use: “This noise cannot harm me. I am not in danger. My body is functioning just fine and I am going to be OK.” I then try to take a mental inventory of the different parts of my body, noting that my arms are OK, my legs are not hurt, my torso is just fine, my head doesn’t hurt, etc.
The therapist also suggested I get familiar with relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and yoga, and do all the other basics such as make sure I’m eating right and getting enough sleep.
Have any of these methods truly helped so far? Not really. It helps a tiny bit in the sense that I feel more empowered against my misophonia. I have named the enemy, and I have some allies who want to help me fight it. But in another sense I remain powerless. I cannot think my way out of getting triggered. I can attempt to rationalize with the fight or flight instinct that has taken control of my brain.
Perhaps these are coping skills that need to be strengthened over time, so I’ll keep at them to see if things get any better, and I’ll try to do a better job of keeping everyone updated. If you’ve come across a good coping strategy, please share it in the comments section below.
My next appointment is in a little more than a week with a new therapist, because unfortunately my other therapist got transferred somewhere else. I imagine that meeting won’t be too productive, because I’ll be explaining misophonia again to someone new.
I recently went to my primary care doctor to get a referral to a cognitive behavioral therapist. We did the usual listen to my heart thing, blood pressure and temperature checks, etc. Then I got to the uncomfortable part of telling her that I need her to refer me to a therapist.
I’ve been to therapy before. Depression. Anxiety. Stuff like that. She asked me all about those and ruled out that I did not have depression at the moment, but I do have generalized anxiety. Then I started: “I, uh, also have this thing. This thing where I get really freaked out when I hear certain sounds. Like, I panic. It’s called misophonia?”
Me again: “It’s a real thing. There’s been a lot of news about it lately. And I know I’ve had it for years…”
At this point, my mind is racing and flooding with self doubt. I see through my doctor’s puzzled look that she is trying to decide whether I’m some sort of hypochondriac who thinks I have every disorder under the sun. The doctor asks a question: So, really loud noises hurt your ears?
No, it’s soft sounds, like the sound of people eating and chewing.
At this stage in the appointment, I think she just gives up and tells me how to get in touch with the therapist. She also tells me a bunch of stuff about anxiety that I already know.
My doctor belongs to a reputable health care network, and the company is really great about giving me printouts each time I go to the doctor. For example, the printed out information I got about anxiety went on for a couple of pages. A definition of anxiety, the symptoms and the many ways to deal with it.
Misophonia must not exist in their system. I’m not surprised, because the condition is not well known, but that didn’t make the situation any less frustrating. Once I saw press coverage on misophonia, I got my hopes up. I wanted information about this to explode overnight. It’s been in the news — can’t all doctors know about it already? I know, I know. I’m being completely unrealistic.
Change is slow, and it takes the commitment of many people. So, I think I’ll try to do my part and write a letter to my health care provider to see if they will consider researching misophonia and providing information about it to everyone who works for them.
I’m curious if anyone reading this has had a good experience talking about misophonia with a health care professional? Did I just get a dud of a doctor? Are others in the know? How have you approached talking to your doctor or therapist about misophonia, and how were you received?
I have my therapy appointment soon, and I’ll probably have to get my therapist in touch with the misophonia specialist I saw earlier, just to make sure we’re all on the same page. Once again, I’ll keep you posted…
I finally went to my misophonia appointment, where I received some good news, and some bad news. Let’s have the good news first. As I mentioned in a previous post, I wasn’t sure what to expect, and this was my first time seeking help for misophonia.
Although misophonia is currently incurable, I learned about cognitive behavioral therapy, as well as a new technology I wasn’t aware of for blocking trigger noises. Apparently, people with misophonia generally do about 12 visits with a therapist to go through the CBT, which helps them develop coping strategies for dealing with trigger sounds.
I could definitely use that. The bonus is that CBT can be done with any therapist, as long as they get educated about misophonia as they are working with you.
I have a doctor appointment with my primary care physician this week, and I plan to ask her to refer me to a good cognitive behavioral therapist so I can try to start that. I haven’t checked with my health insurer to see how much of that therapy would be covered, though. That might be an issue for me if it costs too much.
Then there’s the bad news. Sort of. I also learned about in-ear white noise generators. They were pretty amazing. They are like hearing aids, but instead of helping you hear, they help you NOT hear your trigger noises. They emit white noise into your ear, which helps drown out trigger sounds while giving your ears something constant to engage with. They also can be turned up and down with a small wheel that hangs over the back of your ears, and the device is nearly invisible.
The bad news is they cost $2,400. So… that won’t be happening for me any time soon. If someone with misophonia can afford this type of white noise generator, I’d be really curious to know how they work for you. Would they really drown out all the triggers — even loud pops made by chewing gum, or a metal spoon clanking against a ceramic bowl? I’m a bit skeptical.
I found some less expensive white noise generators online, but some appear to block the entire ear canal; they seem basically like an ear plug with a white noise speaker in them. Those seem cool, but the beauty of the pricey in-ear white noise generator is that it doesn’t block the entire ear canal — meaning you can still hear the noises you want to, such as a friend talking to you.
The closest alternative to the $2,400 model I found online costs around $400 for both ears. I am not sure whether they are near the same quality as the $2,400 model recommended by the misophonia specialist I saw.
Here are some other models I found online. I honestly have no idea how well they work, but I figured I pass the information along anyway.
I also had my hearing checked and discovered I have impeccable hearing, which is fairly common for people with misophonia, according to the specialist I saw. I was surprised by this because I’ve spent many years blasting music into my ears through headphones, and I’ve attended countless concerts that have left my ears ringing for hours. I never cared about damaging my ears, and I secretly hoped I would make myself slightly hard of hearing as a way to help me escape my condition. I guess that didn’t work.
I’ll post an update once I know about any cognitive behavioral therapy sessions I might have. Thanks for all of the comments on my posts. It’s been really great hearing other people’s experiences with misophonia.